Mohawk is a six-foot-two, black-haired beauty with an Amazonian build. She was born on a thunderous morning in... nah, forget that.

She´s the gray-haired matron sitting at the table next to you in Johnny Carino´s, the well-endowed siren with the red hair and green eyes giving you sly looks from the bar at Famous Sam´s, or the U.S. Army soldier with the not-a-hair-out-of-place chignon above her captain´s bars.

No, wait-- maybe she´s the lovely Latino teenager dropping into Filiberto´s for a burrito, or the harried Mom struggling to keep her toddler from spewing a half-chewed french fry at the Caffe O-Le waitress, or the hospital administrator enjoying Sunday brunch at the Hummingbird Grill.

Whoever she is, Mohawk´s been to almost all fifty states and a handful of countries around the world. Where she hasn´t visited a foreign country in person, she´s found cuisine in the States so authentic that a native couldn´t tell the difference.

She´s very, very picky. And she can be very, very cranky if you mess up her food.

Just ask Pikefish.

On his page, Pikefish said, "I'm not allergic to any food and not very finicky. There's hardly anything I won't at least try."

Hey, two out of three ain't bad.

I'm Mohawk, and I'm very finicky. In fact, if I could put those words in 120 point letters without blowing your eyeballs right off the screen, I would. Yeah, just like Pikefish, I live in Sierra Vista and I'm planning on being here awhile. I love to eat, and eat well. But here we're coming into some differences of opinion.

I've had chicken gizzards on a stick in an Asian country (15 cents), and $600.00 (yes, you read that correctly) dinners for two. And you know what? I want my money's worth in both instances. I want courteous servers, well-paced service, hot food cooked the way it's supposed to be, and a comfortable place to eat. I want clean tables and a clean restroom. We have some good places in Sierra Vista, yes, but we have a whole bunch that need a kick in the backside to make them wake up and smell the competition. If you run one of those restaurants, look out. I pull no punches and I don't let anyone off easy where my meals are concerned.

Don't say I didn't warn you.